ryan kennedy’s blog

I hate soccer, I always have. I think the sport is boring, slow and stupid. I like baseball, though…odd (it too is boring at times, always slow and frequently stupid).

This World Cup, however, something was different. The difference is Yahoo! Every morning and lunch the cafeteria was packed with people wanting to watch some soccer action (I refuse to call it football). Eventually, I caught a little bit of the bug. There was moments of excitement. If nothing else, you had to admire the physical shape the athletes must be in to run around for 90+ minutes, sometimes at a full sprint.

It ended up taking most of the final match, however, before I really got into it. The Italy vs. France matchup, supposedly the two best teams in the world. The scoring was slow and lame (one accidental goal and another penalty kick), the Euro’s were throwing themselves around the field like they’d just been shot, despite the fact that nobody touched them (Americans do it too, but we weren’t in the World Cup long enough to leave a lasting impression). To top it off, the game was decided by a bunch of professional athletes firing soccer balls at a goalie from nearly point blank range. Yet…I still enjoyed the match. Why?

ZZ Top, that’s why. Zinedine Zidane…my favorite soccer player. Sure, everybody in the world thinks he’s dirty. But I think he’s a hero for a couple of reasons:

• I swear the Italian gives him a nipple twist. Purple nurple or no…that guy’s got to go down.
• If the rumored racial epithets are anything close to what Materazzi really said to Zidane, once again…that guy’s got to go down.
• HE HEADBUTTED HIM IN THE CHEST AND PUT HIM ON THE GROUND!!! If Smokey were in the house, we all know what he’d say.

Finally, some action in the game. Nobody’s scoring, but I can watch someone get headbutted in the chest in slow motion. Know what soccer needs? A sense of humor. Seriously, you can’t toss a guy from the game for that. You give him an award or something. How about the “That’s Using Your Head” award?

While I’m on the subject of hating soccer, what’s up with letting penalty kicks decide the game? Seriously, you played two 45 minute halves and two 15 minute overtimes. You’ve busted your ass up and down the field. Now you’re going to let the game be decided by luck? It’s not like the goalies were using any form of skill to try to block those shots. Half of the shots went one way while the goalie dove the opposite. That’s not skill, that’s luck! It’s like playing Roshambo. May the best…guesser, win. At least in baseball you lose for a good reason when you’ve gone beyond regulation time (usually because your bullpen sucks).

Anyway, I think I still hate soccer. But Zinedine Zidane is most certainly my favorite European athlete at the moment. God bless you ZZ Top (you should grow out the beard).

This entry was posted on Monday, July 10th, 2006 at 8:59 pm and is filed under Unfiled. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.